If he ever hit me, I would leave.

It seems very simple to say as a woman in a healthy relationship with a loving man who is a great father to our children.

But there are brave, smart, and strong women who find themselves in unhealthy relationships. They need to summon a special kind of courage to get the help they need.

When you are in an abusive relationship, you know you need to leave. Actually taking that step can be more complicated. Maybe your partner has threatened you or the children if you leave or threatened to harm himself. In the military, if you prosecute, you might worry how a conviction will affect his career and his ability to pay child support. You might worry about custody of the kids. Your religious convictions might make it harder to separate. You may have nowhere to go.

A woman who is working up the courage to make a change is a brave woman. And they can do it with our support. They need to know that they are brave, that there is help available, and that there is life after abuse.

They need to know there are places to go. Places like the domestic abuse shelter for which my moms’ group collects items. Imagine finding yourself in a shelter where you rely on the generosity of strangers so you and your children have basic hygiene items?

And ending the abuse starts with creating a culture. That’s why I donated some pro-bono hours to revise the curriculum the domestic abuse shelter brings into schools. That’s why our advisory board selected Violence Unsilenced as one of the 2010 Bloganthropy Award Finalists.

What would you do today if you were brave?

I know the women who read this site understand the meaning of courage.

I have been brave enough to smile as I waved goodbye to my deploying husband. And I have been brave enough to hand my first baby over for heart surgery.

If I were truly brave today, I might tell you about my personal brush with relationship violence, now long in my past. I’m not sure I’m that brave, yet.

It takes a brave woman to say that violence is unacceptable in a loving relationship. To break the uncomfortable silence and say to a friend, “Do you need to talk?” and then to really listen.

We can watch out for our sisters and be vigilant for signs of violence–and then help these women to be as brave as we know they are.

You can take the Brave Woman pledge and make your voice counted among those who stand up to violence:

I pledge to honor and respect brave women and children who tackle the difficult journey of change from domestic violence to a new life. I acknowledge my own moment-by-moment bravery, will remain aware of what is happening to others around me, and speak up against violence in any form. I will stand up for human dignity and safety for women and children.

You can also show your support on twitter @Brave_Woman and on their Facebook page. You never know who might gain courage from seeing that retweet or Facebook post.

Please join voices with Brave Women everywhere during a #BraveWoman twitter chat on December 19, from 1-2pm.

Abuse is often a cycle. Children who are abused or witness abuse are more likely to perpetuate the violence. So where does it end? How about right here? With us.

—

Disclosure: This post has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for CollectiveBias #CBias. All opinions are my own.

We tried to go out for a nice family dinner, silly us! My daughter had been complaining of a stiff neck starting the previous day. Suddenly, at dinner, she just burst out in tears. My mom went home with her and we rushed through dinner. As soon as we got home, she cried that her stomach hurt and threw up.

My husband rushed her to the hospital where they ruled out meningitis and diagnosed “torticollis” (aka “wry neck”).

Of course, in the middle of all this, my telephone stops working so I can’t communicate with my husband. I guess the gremlins don’t only come out during deployments and drills!

Fortunately we’re having a much better Father’s Day weekend!

Here are some of the fun posts people shared last week…please remember to add a link to a SPECIFIC POST in the linky, especially if you want to see your post featured here!

• Ever wonder what it is like to be a military spouse in another country? Seasoned AF Spouse has the scoop from a Canadian Military Spouse
• Amanda from Confessions from Householdsix says there is a civilian disconnect–what do you think?
• Mrs. Mama Hen doesn’t buy that the soldiers flying back could have just been reimbursed for the extra baggage charges–and she has a list of expenses she’s never gotten back to back up her perspective.

The linky is up ALL WEEK! So, stop by anytime!

Having trouble adding your link? Add a comment or tweet @ArmyWivesLives and I will add it for you!

*** More about the Military Mondays Blog Carnival ***

• In the “Link Title” field, please place the title of your post, plus the name of your blog and/or your name. (e.g. “Grow Where You Are Planted @Army Wives’ Lives”)
• In the “URL” field, please place the direct “permalink” to A SPECIFIC POST, NOT to your main page of your blog. (e.g. “http://armywiveslives.com/2009/10/coping-during-deployment/” NOT “http://ArmyWivesLives.com”)
• Your post must be relevant to the military family experience on a personal blog (no corporate blogs). I also retain the right to delete links to any posts that contain hate speech, plans to commit illegal acts, or anything that violates the spirit of this carnival or U.S. law.

Need a reminder that the carnival is up? Subscribe to Army Wives Lives by Email and you will get a digest of posts, no more than once a day (probably more like 1-3 times a week) when I post.

Want MORE Army Wives’ Lives? Fan the facebook page!

Want to share more of the FABULOUSNESS that is you? I accept guest posts and post interviews!

Want to share the carnival? Please feel free to grab the code for the button if you are interested:

<a href="http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/" target="_BLANK"><img src="http://armywiveslives.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/military-mondays-300x238.jpg" alt="Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives" border=0 /></a>

Without further ado, let’s get to the posts–I hope you’ll participate and visit these wonderful Military Family Bloggers–and feel free to check out previous editions for more great Military Family Posts!

Heh. As I type, it is SNOWING OUTSIDE…so much for the first week of spring.

The carnival is up a little late this morning since people at my house have been sick and I’ve had lots of deadlines. Let’s make Monday a little brighter, though, by adding links to our best posts of the week and reading and commenting on each other’s posts.

Please say “hi” in the comments, let us know if you have a facebook and/or twitter page, etc. So we can connect even more.

Also, I’ve added an interview with Julie and Martin (he’s former German military and now a US Military spouse) and there is an interesting discussion on my post, I am NOT a Single Parent…hope you’ll take a moment to add your thougths!

*** More about the Military Mondays Blog Carnival ***

• In the “Link Title” field, please place the title of your post, plus the name of your blog and/or your name. (e.g. “Grow Where You Are Planted @Army Wives’ Lives”)
• In the “URL” field, please place the direct “permalink” to the specific post, not to your main page of your blog. (e.g. “http://armywiveslives.com/2009/10/coping-during-deployment/” NOT “http://ArmyWivesLives.com”)
• Your post must be relevant to the military family experience. I also retain the right to delete links to any posts that contain hate speech, plans to commit illegal acts, or anything that violates the spirit of this carnival or U.S. law.

Need a reminder that the carnival is up? Subscribe to Army Wives Lives by Email and you will get a digest of posts, no more than once a day (probably more like 1-3 times a week) when I post.

Want MORE Army Wives’ Lives? Fan the facebook page!

Want to share more of the FABULOUSNESS that is you? I accept guest posts and post interviews!

Want to share the carnival? Please feel free to grab the code for the button if you are interested:

<a href="http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/" target="_BLANK"><img src="http://armywiveslives.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/military-mondays-300x238.jpg" alt="Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives" border=0 /></a>

Without further ado, let’s get to the posts–I hope you’ll participate and visit these wonderful Military Family Bloggers–and feel free to check out previous editions for more great Military Family Posts! Last week’s had 12 awesome links you can visit anytime!

Participating in the blog carnival is very simple. You do not have to write a post just for the carnival–it can be any military family-related blog post.

Plus, I will be happy to tweet, stumble, and share your posts…so please do join in! The linky is open all week so jump in whenever you can and make sure to visit others, too!

Speaking of twitter and facebook–after you leave your linky, feel free to put your twitter ID or facebook fan page in the comments section. I’d love to connect on there!

Stumped as to what to write about? Post a picture of an activity on post, share your favorite thing about the military, vent about something that is driving you crazy this week. Seen the first signs of spring on post or is it still snowing where you are? Take a photo and post it! Kids are off of school? Share a list of things to do with them near your installation! It can be ANYTHING military family-related.

*** The only Military Mondays Blog Carnival rules are: ***

• In the “Link Title” field, please place the title of your post, plus the name of your blog and/or your name. (e.g. “Grow Where You Are Planted @Army Wives’ Lives”)
• In the “URL” field, please place the direct “permalink” to the specific post, not to your main page of your blog. (e.g. “http://armywiveslives.com/2009/10/coping-during-deployment/” NOT “http://ArmyWivesLives.com”)
• Your post must be relevant to the military family experience. I also retain the right to delete links to any posts that contain hate speech, plans to commit illegal acts, or anything that violates the spirit of this carnival or U.S. law.

Please make this a post from sometime in the last month or so.

Need a reminder that the carnival is up? Subscribe to Army Wives Lives by Email and you will get a digest of posts, no more than once a day (probably more like 1-3 times a week) when I post.

Want MORE Army Wives’ Lives? Fan the facebook page!

Want to share more of the FABULOUSNESS that is you? I accept guest posts and post interviews!

Want to share the carnival? Please feel free to grab the code for the button if you are interested:

<a href="http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/" target="_BLANK"><img src="http://armywiveslives.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/military-mondays-300x238.jpg" alt="Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives" border=0 /></a>

Without further ado, let’s get to the posts–I hope you’ll participate and visit these wonderful Military Family Bloggers–and feel free to check out previous editions for more great Military Family Posts!

These posts are getting hundreds of views—that could mean traffic to YOUR posts if you add them to the linky!

*** The only Military Mondays Blog Carnival rules are: ***

• In the “Link Title” field, please place the title of your post, plus the name of your blog and/or your name. (e.g. “Grow Where You Are Planted @Army Wives’ Lives”)
• In the “URL” field, please place the direct “permalink” to the specific post, not to your main page of your blog. (e.g. “http://armywiveslives.com/2009/10/coping-during-deployment/” not “http://ArmyWivesLives.com”)
• Your post must be relevant to the military family experience. I also retain the right to delete links to any posts that contain hate speech, plans to commit illegal acts, or anything that violates the spirit of this carnival or U.S. law.

Please make this a post from sometime in the last month or so.

Need a reminder that the carnival is up? Subscribe to Army Wives Lives by Email and you will get a digest of posts, no more than once a day (probably more like 1-3 times a week) when I post.

Want MORE Army Wives’ Lives? Fan the facebook page!

Want to share more of the FABULOUSNESS that is you? I accept guest posts and post interviews!

Want to share the carnival? Please feel free to grab the code for the button if you are interested:

<a href="http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/" target="_BLANK"><img src="http://armywiveslives.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/military-mondays-300x238.jpg" alt="Military Mondays Family and Spouse Carnival at Army Wives' Lives" border=0 /></a>

Without further ado, let’s get to the posts–I hope you’ll participate and visit these wonderful Military Family Bloggers–and feel free to check out previous editions for more great Military Family Posts!

Would you like to be a contributor at the new site? Just let me know if you are interested by sending me an e-mail or leaving a comment.

Although the new site will be “Army Wives Lives”, Military Spouses of all branches are welcome to make themselves at home!

Looking forward to getting the new digs set up.

Some of my FABULOUS online friends are throwing me a baby cybershower on Mamanista (I’m due in a few weeks with Junior).

Please go join in the fun (play games, say “hi,” and enter to win great prizes), because the guests make a party!

Here are some bloggy contests I know about that have deadlines on or after October 31:

• NEW — Of course the big giveaway story this week is The Fall, Y’all Bloggy Giveaway Carnival. Currently over 450 bloggers (yeah, seriously, that isn’t a typo) are giving away various prizes, including gift certificates to Starbucks, handmade purses, jewelry, Pampered Chef Products, books, and more. Various ending dates, but mostly Nov. 2.
• NEW — Toddler Bistro Box at Metropolitan Mama. I so need this. (ends Oct. 31)
• You can win an 8-gig Ipod Nano at It’s Write Now!! Just go to the giveaway post and see how you can enter to win this fabulous giveaway! (ends October 31)
• You can Win a Nintendo Wii from their coupon blog EverybodyLovesCoupons. (ends October 31)
• What MilSpouse couldn’t use a BRAND NEW DYSON??? Plus part of the proceeds of these special edition pink Dyson vacuums goes to breast cancer research. Check it out at The Domestic Diva. Oh, and Dyson? I have a review blog, too…you don’t call, you don’t write…I’m hurt. But winning one would ease the pain. (Oct 31)
• NEW — GORGEOUS necklace made from a sterling silver ring that has been decorated with red garnets and brown smoky quartz briolette. WOW! At Subu, Inc. (ends Nov. 1)
• NEW — My Little Crayon Roll-Up Giveaway on A.B. Baby Blog (ends Nov. 1)
• NEW — I have three giveaways for the Fall, Y’all Carnival on my blogs: Sammy’s Soldier (deployment book for kids), Damage Control (celeb anecdotes about stylists, therapists, trainers, etc.), and The Little Black Book of Style (by Nina Garcia) (ends Nov. 2)
• On Mamanista I posted five contests last week because I’m turning 30 and I am giving my readers the presents, the first was Siente International Lullaby CD from Siente (ends Nov. 2)
• NEW — Apronista Giveaway from Heavenly Hostess (ends Nov. 2)
• NEW — Scout Baby Organic Clothes from Mindful Momma (ends Nov. 4)
• NEW — Bitty Braille kid tee from Crunchy Domestic Goddess (ends Nov. 5)
• Also from Mamanista!: SIGG Eco-Chic, 100% Safe bottles for adults and kids
  (ends Nov. 6)
• Flashdrive and Memory Card at ShanKri-la Diwali 2007 Giveaway (ends Nov. 6)
• NEW — My Royal Heine Diaper Bag at 5 Minutes for Mom (ends Nov. 6)
• Also from Mamanista!: Sittercity Childcare and Pet Care Finder. (ends Nov.
• Artwork from Richard Neuman at Laura Williams’ Musings (ends Nov.
• Happy Panda Baby is having a Cyber Shower for Classy Mommy. Save the date! Actual contest will run Nov 9-13.
• Also from Mamanista!: Rockin’ Baby Ring Sling. (ends Nov. 13)
• Also from Mamanista!: Rocketfish Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard and Mouse from Best Buy (ends Nov. 15)

If you are a blogger hosting a contest, or know of a really cool contest on a blog, please list it in the comments with the link to the actual post (not the main page), the prize you can win, and the end date. If you know how to code it, please link the title of the contest to the post to make my life a little easier. If you can’t, though, no worries.

And, if the contest is still going when I put up the next post, I’ll include it in the main body of that post, too.

Please, only contests hosted on blogs. Spammy corporate-owned bots will be hunted down and destroyed–not really, but I’ll delete the “comment.”

DH had an article published in Parameters (YAY DH!) and he just finished another article to submit for consideration to another military journal.

I’ve been writing…and avoiding writing by starting two new blogs:

Mamanista: Fabulously Chic, Irresistibly Practical (Product Reviews)
Please comment and shop our cool affiliates so I can spend more time blogging so I can get more affiliates so I can spend more time blogging.

Mama Saga: One Mother’s Journey (A “Mommy Blog”…shudder)
Please leave me comments so it looks like I have cyber friends (no one need know the truth)

And Baby Diva? She’s cutting a THIRD TOOTH and mastering peekaboo.

So, I will still be blogging here and at SpouseBuzz until I run out of military-related stories to tell, but I would really love it if you would come over to my new ventures and read, bookmark, and blogroll those, too!

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.