At least I could lay down some of the burden at night–there is a window during which notifications are made. This may seem like a trivial thing if you haven’t spent a year on edge but, trust me, it is some small solace to know you will not be woken or startled at 3am by a phone call or a knock on a door.

That is, unless, another soldier or family member takes it upon him or herself to text message you or notify you via Facebook.

What a horrible thing to do to a military family member!

While it is true that no form of notification can bring the soldier back to life, casualty notification procedures are in place for a reason.

• The procedures ensure no false notifications. By notifying someone independently, you have disrupted the entire system and created an environment where rumors thrive.
• You do not know how someone will react to the shock. Fainting, going on a rampage, driving off the road–these are all plausible responses to casualty notification. Let the trained professionals be there to handle it.
• How someone finds out may affect long-term processing of the grief. People always remember where they were when they found out big news. The ceremony and respect of the official notification system, and the support that the military immediately offers, may ultimately help the family member process the grief. Maybe you do not buy this but it is NOT your call. You do NOT get to take that away from these families.

When a soldier is catastrophically injured or killed in action, his base is supposed to go on communications black-out. There should be a total lock-down of all telephone and Internet signals. And all soldiers and family members should know not to discuss casualties prior to official notification of the next of kin.

Yes, we all knew when someone had been killed in action when no one had any calls that night. Yes, the waiting was tense. However, that is a small price to pay to know that the proper respect will be paid to a fallen hero and his family. We owe our brothers and sisters in waiting at least that much.

(DoD photo by Senior Master Sgt. David H. Lipp)

Are you excited about the premier of Army Wives, Season 6 on Sunday, March 4th at 9/8c?

Kind of gives you the chills, doesn’t it?

Lifetime is offering TWO of my readers each a Kindle Fire (ARV $199) with a branded Army Wives cover.

So. Cool. In fact, I am totally jealous because I don’t own any e-reader or tablet!

Ready for the details on how to enter to win?

You can enter in any or all of the following ways. Leave a separate comment for each entry because I will be choosing at random from the comments:

• Leave a comment about the show. Suggested topics: to which wife do you relate to best and why? what are you most interested in seeing this new season? what is a favorite moment from the show? (Enter up to once, daily. 14 total possible entries.)
• Share this contest on any public site where you are allowed to do so. Leave the permalink of your tweet, blog post, etc. in the website field of your comment. (Enter up to once, daily. 14 total possible entries.)
• Join the Army Wives’ Lives Community (you can use a BlogFrog or Facebook login) and start a new discussion. Leave the title of that discussion in your comment on this post. (Enter up to once, daily. 14 total possible entries.)
• Comment on someone else’s discussion in the Army Wives’ Lives Community. Leave the title of that discussion in your comment on this post. (Enter up to once, daily. 14 total possible entries.)

Rules: Please leave a separate comment for each of your entries. Giveaway ends 11:59 PM EST on March 14. Prize ships to US addresses only. Prize is provided and shipped by Lifetime. Army Wives’ Lives accepts no liability related to this contest. We reserve the right to reject and delete any entries that are not in the spirit of the giveaway at our sole discretion. Winner is chosen, using random.org, from valid entries.

I packed up a miniature Christmas tree, tiny little ornaments, and my best cookie recipe in a Christmas Stocking to send him a little Holiday cheer. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, after all.

Six years and three kids later, we treasure each Holiday we have together.

There are many soldiers who have spent most of their special days apart from their loved ones. You can show appreciation for their sacrifice with a care package or even just a handwritten note. It is a small thing but it may mean the world to a deployed soldier and his family.

Cheerios and the USO have made it even easier to sendCheer with postcards on specially marked boxes of Cheerios.

On the way back one night, the kids fell asleep in the car. So, I popped into Walmart while my husband waited with them.

I searched and searched and even asked at Customer Service but no luck! This Walmart did not have the Cheerios in the specially marked box.

This minor setback turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I was able to go back the next day with my kids! Involving them was much more fun. I told them that we had a special mission to find boxes of Cheerios with a postcard to cut out. I explained that these boxes help sendCheer to soldiers, like Daddy, who are away from their families.

Success! My daughter spotted the boxes and the kids counted out ten.

Uh, oh. I think we need a cart!

Locked and loaded and ready to head for the checkout counter…

The woman at the checkout counter saw the loaded cart and asked if we were making treats. “Yes!” exclaimed the kids, “For the soldiers!” I pointed out the postcard on the box and explained that we were going to send off the card and bake some treats.

Once we loaded up the car, we dropped a few boxes off at friends’ houses so that they can send their own postcards. We are also donating two boxes through my daughter’s school’s food drive.

When we got home, my daughter cut the card off the box and wrote a little note to a soldier.

She wanted to write a longer note but there was just enough room for “thank you!” and some drawings.

After, we baked some treats that we’ll send off in a carepackage.  Cheerios has a great website with recipes.  We decided to make the marshmallow bars and add a little hazelnut spread to the mixture.

My kids were so pleased to have completed their special mission to help soldiers, like Daddy! I told them the story of Daddy’s Christmas Tree in a stocking and now they want to send carepackages to lots of soldiers!

Here’s your mission: Next time you are in your local Walmart, keep an eye out for the special displays of marked packages of Cheerios. Cut out the card and write a little note.  When you drop it in the mail, you’ll sendCheer to a servicemember and General Mills will donate $1 to the USO.

—
This post has been compensated as part of a sponsored charitable opportunity for Collective Bias.

Never would I have imagined that I would find myself married to an officer in the U.S. Army.

And yet, there I was.  One minute I was living in Manhattan, married to a lawyer at one of the top firms in New York City, and the next I found myself trying to find a decent Italian place near Fort Hood, Texas.

Once I got over the shock, I dove right in. I’d like to say it was altruistic but really it was a way to get my bearings. By volunteering as a Family Readiness Group leader and pitching in as part of various committees on post, I got a crash course on being part of the military family.

And that love returned to us many times over. While my husband was deployed to Iraq, he received hundreds of postcards and care packages. While a letter may seem like a small thing, knowing that people back at home appreciate you keeps many of our servicemembers going. Five years later, my husband still keeps a binder of each and every letter he received.

We are back in New York and my husband has returned to his law career. He still serves in the National Guard and we do what we can to return a small fraction of the support we received while he was active duty. Whether the kids are stuffing backpacks with their friends for the children of enlisted servicemembers or baking cookies and making Valentines or Veteran’s Day cards for our local veterans, we are grateful for the men and women of our military, past and present.

Cheerios has asked me to share how easy they have made it to “sendCheer” to military families as part of a partnership with the USO. All you have to do is cut out and mail postcards from specially marked Cheerios boxes. A military servicemember will get your thoughtful note and Cheerios will donate $1 for each card to the USO.

I want you to know that your recognition of those who serve is appreciated. A box of cookies, a package of toiletries, even a simple note reminds our warriors why they fight.

—

Disclosure: This post has been compensated as part of a sponsored charitable opportunity for Collective Bias.

My husband is off on a month-long National Guard drill and “Is Daddy coming home tonight?” became, “When is Daddy coming home?”, and eventually transformed into, “Is Daddy coming home?” Asked at least 20 times each day by my two eldest.

The last time my husband was gone this long, he was deployed to Iraq for a year. He missed our entire first pregnancy, the birth, and most of the first three months of our first child’s life. At the time, people said, “I don’t know how you do it!”

But all of that is nothing compared to explaining to young children why Daddy is not there to cheer for them, to dry their tears, to lift them up. Even a month is challenging–I can barely imagine the fortitude required to guide children through a year-long deployment.

Although I know that you find the strength you need, I really admire the resourcefulness, the strength, and the love of military moms.

They cheerfully put up the countdown calendars and mask their own uncertainty.

They reassure their children and swallow their own fears.

They do bath night and homework help and garbage night. And then, after they get the children to bed, they clean the house and pay the bills and fix the toilet.

They are the provider, the nurturer, the disciplinarian, and the cornerstone of consistency the children need.

It is a duty I pray I never have to fulfill but I hope, if I do, I do it half as well as the moms I have had the honor to call my friends.

Military Moms aren’t just married to heroes. They are heroes!

Photo by FamilyMWR

Every Mom is a hero. Share your story.

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Disclosure: This is post is Sponsored by Allstate. The opinions expressed here are strictly my own. Official Contest Rules

Cue the sound of my heart breaking.

At least Daddy is coming home. And at least he is coming home in a couple of weeks. And at least he is not overseas.

How do you answer the questions when Mommy or Daddy is gone on a long drill or a deployment? How do you handle the meltdowns? How do you keep them looking forward to the homecoming without making the days seem overwhelming?

(Photo: U.S. Air Force/Justin Connaher)

Army Wives: The Complete Fifth Season (Release Date: September 27)
This exciting DVD debut showcases each emotional moment from the lives of the military families at Fort Marshall, SC in the riveting fifth season. The women’s friendships continue to grow stronger as they band together through their most difficult challenges yet, including life with a newborn, career changes and the tragic loss of a loved one. This collective release allows fans to own every heartfelt episode, plus never-before-seen bonus features.

DVD Bonus Features Include: “Hangin’ At The Hump: A Candid Conversation With The Cast of Army Wives” – The cast of Army Wives participate in a roundtable conversation where they share their thoughts, experiences and the impact the show has had on them, the community and real Army Wives.

Giveaway Prize: One Army Wives Ultimate Fan DVD Prize Pack: Seasons 1-5

To Enter: You may enter any or all of the following ways and you may do so up to once a day for a total of 1-12 possible entries. For each entry, you MUST leave a separate comment on THIS POST as I will be drawing the winner from the comments.

• Leave a comment on this post letting me know a moment from Army Wives that really spoke to you.
• Share the giveaway on any social network where you are allowed to do so.

Prize will ship to US only. Giveaway ends September 27, 11:59 PM EST.

So, we were excited to have him home all day on Saturday.  An hour ago, he received a call that he is being activated to help with the emergency efforts.

We are, ourselves, directly in Hurricane Irene’s path.  At this point, it looks like a weak category 1 hurricane will hit mid-Long Island sometime tomorrow morning. If it hits around 8am, the South Shore will have high tide.  If it hits closer to 11am, the North Shore will have high tide.

I am about a mile away from the beach and the low-lying areas in my village have been evacuated.  We’re up on a hill, though, so we will most likely be fine.  My parents are visiting so I will have help with the kids.

We may be incommunicado for a few days but I will try to send out smoke signals after the hurricane passes, when I can, to let everyone know we are okay.

Stay safe, everyone!

(Photo by Mark Abueg)

Involve the Kids

If you have kids, you could have them trace each of their hands on the outside of each of the care package and write their names inside with the date so your soldier can watch them grow every time s/he gets a box. Or you could do the same on a piece of cardstock paper so s/he can collect them throughout the year. Let your kids color their hands with crayons or markers.

New Year’s Care Package Idea

Decorate a box with confetti inside, use glue on the inside of the box and sprinkle glitter, confetti, and ribbons.

Inside: Some party whistles, streamers, horns, Plastic champagne glasses, Sparkling cider (if you package it well, cover with bubble wrap and put inside a plastic bag in case it breaks during shipping), vacuum packaged cheese and crackers, or chips, a cigar, some glow sticks or LED light necklaces.

Valentine’s Day Care Package Idea

Decorate the inside of the box with red or pink paper, glitter, streamers. You could make lipstick kisses on the outside of the box, but just make sure not to use a glossy type of lip shine or lipstick, so it won’t get smeared through postage handling.

Inside: Write a personalized poem just for your soldier. Add an assortment of chocolates, candy hearts, and pictures of you and your kids. You can send a small stuffed animal (remember s/he has to travel home with things you send, so try to keep it to a minimum). A white pillow with a picture of you and/or the kids ironed on so he can sleep with you all every night. If you add perfume to anything, put it in a zip lock baggie to preserve the smell. Make a list of things you love about your soldier. I sent my husband a pair of black boxer shorts with red hearts all over them and I made him my own pairs of underwear. I bought a plain white undies and a pair of white boxer briefs and decorated them myself with glitter glue pens and sent those. I wrote “Property of Mrs. Sosa” on his undies, and “Property of Mr. Sosa” on my undies. I also drew a padlock with glitter. Sorry if that sounds corny. Haha.

Saint Patrick’s Day Care Package Idea:

Decorate the inside of the box with green paper, glitter, etc. Draw shamrocks on the outside of the box.

Inside: Fill with anything and everything green. Green beaded necklaces, (non alcoholic beer if you package well like the champagne bottle above). Confetti poppers, any green candy you can find, one of those plastic St. Patty’s day hats or those shamrock shaped sunglasses.

[I once included mini bars of "Irish Spring" --ed.]

Easter:

Decorate the inside of the box with pastel colors and fill with Easter grass.

Inside: Send your soldier a box full of plastic eggs with candies or special gifts inside, including pictures, notes, and toys. A small stuffed bunny plush that sings a song. And any of their favorite Easter candies, like marshmallow peeps, or jelly beans.

Memorial Day and Mother’s Day:

Decorate the inside of the box with American flags and flowers (drawn on the inside to save money).

Inside: Fill with different pictures of you and/or your kids. Take pictures of your mommy/daddy duties and activities with the kids. Maybe send a list of all the things he gets to do FOR YOU when he gets back since he missed Mother’s Day. You could include Tea bags, and snacks.

Father’s Day:

Have a T-Shirt designed/made with a picture of the kids on the front and back and have it say “World’s Greatest Dad” or “#1 Dad” or whatever you’d like it to say. Include a list of the things you will do FOR HIM when he gets back. Send him his favorite snacks, more pictures, maybe something memorable like a gift with “1st Father’s Day” on it. I’m sure you can get something engraved for him.

Independence Day:

Decorate the inside of the box red, white and blue, with confetti, streamers, etc. (I like those balloon weights with the shiny stuff sticking up…)

Inside: Send him red, white and blue candies, like AIR HEADS (if they still have those around) Red/white/blue beaded necklaces, Send some popcorn packets and cigar, and party poppers, glow sticks, LED lighted necklaces again. Include you and/or your kids dressed in red/white/blue clothes and edit on Photoshop with a Happy 4th of July border.

Halloween:

Decorate the inside of the box orange, black, and purple.

Inside: Fill with cotton spider webs, and plastic spiders, rats, and skeletons. Include candies, suckers, (I sent my husband a small pumpkin that I drew a face carving with permanent marker). Color scary ghosts, pumpkins, haunted house, etc on the outside of the box. Include pictures of you and/or your kids in their Halloween costumes (if they don’t have them yet, since you’ll be sending this box before Halloween to make sure it gets there on time, include pictures of them from last year’s costumes).

Thanksgiving:

Have your kids trace their hand on brown construction paper and let them glue orange and yellow feathers on the fingers to make turkeys. Send him those prepackages summer sausages, cheese and crackers. Peanuts, cashews, popcorn, or peanut brittle. You could also send him some Turkey Vienna sausages in a can. More sparkling cider if it’s packaged well. A list of all the things you are thankful for. A Thanksgiving/Fall smelling candle for a scent of “home”. You could throw a few Fall leaves from where you live, in the box to give him a piece of home too.

Christmas (MY FAVORITE):

Send a small Christmas tree (you can find small decoration types at Walmart or a local Craft Store). Send mini shatter-proof ornaments and garland. Wrap small presents in small gift boxes to give him a miniature Christmas where he is. I got my a Christmas ornament that said “Our First Christmas 2008″, they have new ones every year. Send pictures of you and/or the kids. Pictures of his family maybe holding banners or posters saying Merry Christmas We Miss You on it. You could line the box with cotton to look like snow underneath everything. You could include Hot chocolate or hot apple cider packets in a small Christmas stocking.

If you have kids, you could have them trace each of their hands on the outside of each of the boxes and write their names inside and the date so he can watch them grow every time he gets a box. Or you could do the same on a piece of cardstock paper so he can collect them throughout the year. Let your kids color their hands with crayons or markers.

I also made Fortune Cookies at home and made my own fortunes inside. It was really somewhat tricky to make them because you have to mold them after cooking them, but when they are still soft you put the fortune inside and fold it before it hardens. Basically making one at a time.

Some of the things I sent to my husband on a regular basis, included:

• Cheetos
• Pringles
• Bags of Chips
• Sour Patch Kids
• Vienna Sausages
• Non-Frozen Microwaveable Dinners
• Popcorn packets
• Top Ramen Noodles
• Yahoo! Chocolate Milk Boxes
• Sodas/Energy Drinks (Packaged well)
• Powdered Water Flavoring (like gatorade, crystal light, koolaids)
• Chocolate Puddings
• Candy Necklaces/Bracelets
• Gum/Mints
• Easy Mac-n-Cheese packets
• Beef Jerkey
• Granola Bars
• Energy/Protein Bars
• Any kinds of candy that won’t melt

Birthday:

For my husband’s Birthday, I made him a picture of my body spelling out HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

In every box I would send a different colored balloon. Blow up a balloon and hold the air in with your fingers, then use a permanent marker and write him a letter on the balloon. Then deflate and put it in the box. Tell him he has to blow up the balloon to read the letter.

You can make him a care package for his birthday, including balloons and confetti, party hats for him and his friends, party poppers, and whichever gift you’d like to give him wrapped like a real present.

As for non food items, depending on what he has access to, you can send:

• Deck of cards
• small board games or hand held electronic games
• Word search of crossword puzzle books
• Anything related to his favorite sports teams (I sent my husband a small nerf basketball hoop for his wall in his choo)
• Air Fresheners
• Photo albums
• Disposable cameras for him to take pictures and send back for you to develop and be surprised
• Socks
• Razor Heads
• Underwear
• His favorite soap

—
Heather E. Sosa has been an Army wife since May of 2008 and is now an Army veteran herself. With her husband Joel, she has a daughter named Emmalynn who will be 1, in July of 2011.

It is more that I bit off more than I could chew! I set aside time this summer so I could work on some personal projects and then I just took on too many other things. I have a Smart Summer Challenge over on my education blog and I am a community leader over at the Random House Kids Read & Play Summer Fun Community.

In the interest of my sanity, I think I am going to take a break from posting the linky weekly and leave this one open through August. Hopefully this will give me more time to put up some other posts here that I have planned!

A few reminders:

• Please check out and comment on each others’ posts…that’s what makes people want to come by and leave their links! Comments are catnip to bloggers!
• Please leave the URL to a SPECIFIC post (or posts…you can add more than one), NOT the main page of your blog.

The linky is up ALL SUMMER! So, stop by anytime!

Having trouble adding your link? Add a comment or tweet @ArmyWivesLives and I will add it for you!

*** More about the Military Mondays Blog Carnival ***

• In the “Link Title” field, please place the title of your post, plus the name of your blog and/or your name. (e.g. “Grow Where You Are Planted @Army Wives’ Lives”)
• In the “URL” field, please place the direct “permalink” to A SPECIFIC POST, NOT to your main page of your blog. (e.g. “http://armywiveslives.com/2009/10/coping-during-deployment/” NOT “http://ArmyWivesLives.com”)
• Your post must be relevant to the military family experience on a personal blog (no corporate blogs). I also retain the right to delete links to any posts that contain hate speech, plans to commit illegal acts, or anything that violates the spirit of this carnival or U.S. law.

Need a reminder that the carnival is up? Subscribe to Army Wives Lives by Email and you will get a digest of posts, no more than once a day (probably more like 1-3 times a week) when I post.

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Without further ado, let’s get to the posts–I hope you’ll participate and visit these wonderful Military Family Bloggers–and feel free to check out previous editions for more great Military Family Posts!