Category: Featured

Getting out

Mar. 18 Featured, Military Life no comments


The drawdown in Iraq is pretty much complete and the withdrawal in Afghanistan is getting started. After 10 years of war, many of our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines are coming home. But they are coming home to a decidedly smaller military force and some will be coming home to the military’s equivalent of a pink slip. Promotion rates are dwindling and the number of servicemembers being shown the proverbial door is rising.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve operated under the assumption that you’d be a military family until YOU decided (or your spouse decided) that you were done but that’s not how it is anymore. There is a LOT of uncertainty in the military these days. This is the first of a two-part look at getting out whether it’s by choice or not. First, we’ll look at how you can prepare for a possible separation. Even if it’s unlikely, it’s still a really good idea to be prepared.

Here are some steps you can take:

1. Establish or bulk up your emergency fund. Financial advisers will suggest that you have at least 3 months’ living expenses in your emergency fund. Given the current economic situation in this country, I’d recommend 6 months. That doesn’t mean that you have to have it tomorrow. Let’s say you have $1,000 in your savings account right now and you don’t regularly set savings aside. When the next pay period rolls around, see if you can set aside $100 or even $50. Sometimes the hardest part about anything is taking that first step.

2. Pay down any unsecured debt you may have. This is actually tied for #1. It doesn’t make any sense to earn 2% on the money you have sitting in your savings account if your $5,000 balance on your Visa is sucking 15% interest out of your checking account. Sell some things (Craigslist! eBay! Yard sale!), revisit your budget and cut back on the things you can stand to give up (cable TV, 1 dinner out per month, unlimited data on your cell phone), look into other sources of income (side jobs, babysitting, etc.) and do what you can to ditch that debt as quickly as possible.

3. Add income. As I mentioned in the point above, bringing in extra income is a great way to help pay down debt and add to your emergency fund. As we faced the possibility of my husband getting out of the Army, he and I both started looking for ways to bring in extra monies: watching a friend’s children (me), doing some basic editing on written works (me), doing basic maintenance on friends’ cars (him), recovering data from a failed hard drive (him), selling plasma (us), picking up odd jobs at our church (us). Many times, it’s just a matter of talking to people and seeing what they need and then offering your services. Maybe you like to sew and someone has a few pairs of jeans that need repair – I’d be willing to pay $20 to have my jeans fixed! You can sell stuff too – is there a bookstore in your area that buys used books? I’ve made anywhere from $20 to $65 selling off some of our old books and homeschool curricula.

4. Increase your job skills. Is there a local class you can take to learn how to use Excel (often libraries and community centers will offer these. And there’s always the Education Center on post.) or other computer programs? Does the community college in your area offer low-cost classes in areas that you or your spouse might be interested? If so, you might want to consider taking one. The skills and connections you make now may make the transition easier down the road.

5. Dust off that resume. Even if you’re not really facing the possibility of getting out, it’s a good idea (for you as well as your spouse) to keep your resume up to date. You or your spouse may not need it for a while but it’s better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. The education center will often have people that can help retool a resume. Other spouses in your area might also be able to help get a resume in working order. The internet is always a wonderful resource and there are plenty of free websites out there with helpful information.

The best thing you can do in these uncertain times is to be proactive. Don’t wait for bad news to hit to get things in order. Do it now while you have the time and you’ll save yourself headaches down the road.

Next up: You’re getting out…now what?

Military Spouse Resolutions

Jan. 16 Featured, Military Life, Military Spouse no comments

I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions – we all know what is said about good intentions. But I’ve been doing some serious self-assessment and taking a good, hard look at the last 14 years of my life as a military spouse and I have a few things I think it might be wise to address. So here goes:

1. Less Facebook and more face-to-face.

I’m an introvert by nature but I fake extrovertedness (is that a word?) pretty well. However, given the choice, I’d much rather stay home where I’m comfortable rather
than head to FRG functions, military social events, or anything having to do with my husband’s work. Part of it is a self-defense tactic – it’s easier to move multiple times
if you have fewer connections at a duty station. Regardless, it’s not the best way to go about ‘blooming where you’re planted’ (a goal of mine) so it’s time to step out of
my comfort zone and get involved.

2. Choosing to be ‘better’, not ‘bitter’.

There are many aspects of military life that are complaint-worthy. You know it. I know it. Everyone who lives this life knows it. So what good does it do to
whine about the separations, the long hours, the pay fiascos, and the unrelenting goodbyes? It’s preaching to the choir. And what a depressing choir that can be. Some
people are bitter by nature. Some people are bitter by habit. It’s time to kick that ‘i’ to the curb and choose a new vowel – ‘e’…as in bEtter. Yes, separations are rotten.
But what can you do to thrive while your spouse is gone? The goodbyes are awful but the hellos can be wonderful if you let them. Most of the time, it’s perspective that
makes the difference. And that perspective is a conscious choice…sometimes daily and sometimes hourly.

3. Become ‘visible’ again.

There has been a lot of talk of late about the ‘invisible military spouse’ – how we, as spouses, tend to get lost in the shadows of our military member. The attention
is lavished on them. The homecomings are about them. The worries over mental health are about them. And, while I’m not downplaying the sacrifices my husband
and the rest of our servicemembers make, it’s apparent that no one is going to advocate for us. So we’re going to have to do it ourselves. So it’s time to step out of
those shadows. It’s time to turn a bit of that focus on to ourselves and our health and wellness. I’m not advocating leaving the kids at home for hours on end so you
can spend the day shopping and hanging out at the spa all the time (though that does sound lovely, doesn’t it?). But there’s a lot to be said for eating right, getting
some exercise, trying to get a good night’s sleep, seeing the doctor when necessary, and finding a moment here and there where you can just relax. For some of us,
that moment might be after the kids are in bed, before you tackle the dishes or the laundry. For others of us, it might be asking a friend to swap childcare duties one
day per week so you can grocery shop in peace or grab a coffee and read a magazine. Whatever it is that affords you a moment of peace (as long as it’s legal and healthy!) then do it! Taking care of ourselves means that we are better equipped to take care of those around us. And if you need help – whether it’s the help of a friend or family
member or that of a medical professional, there is NO shame in asking. There is strength in recognizing that need and there is strength in asking for that help.

Those are my top 3 ‘resolutions’ this year. Each of them will require a conscious decision on my part EVERY DAY. And there will be days I fail. That’s ok – no one is
perfect. Not even the General’s wife. Happy 2013!

Image Credit

YesVideo Video Conversion Giveaway for Military Families

Jan. 07 Care Packages, Contests, Deployment, Featured, Sponsored no comments

When my husband was deployed, more than any supplies or even homemade goodies, he wanted messages from his family…photographs, videos, video-chats, recordings–seeing and hearing his loved ones. That connection to home is what helps soldiers keep going, during the most difficult conditions.

If you have vintage audio-visual material on almost any format, you can convert that into a special DVD and online digital video for your soldier. Here is a special sponsored message about how you can win a $300 gift certificate to turn your old family videos and other media into DVDs:

Military Families Can Share Favorite Vintage Videos with their Loved Ones Abroad, Thanks to YesVideo’s Holiday Gifting Program

YesVideo is dedicated to bringing joy to military personnel serving abroad through re-living favorite family memories

Santa Clara, CA – January 3, 2012 – YesVideo, the global leader in video and photo digitization, is announcing their Holiday Gifting Program for U.S. Military Families. In January, YesVideo will give away five $300 gift certificates to Military Families. The gift certificates can be used to have their family videos transferred to DVD, as well as online, and materials will be delivered to the winners by Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2013.

The contest is open to any U.S. military family who has a loved one serving abroad. Interested families can sign up on YesVideo’s Facebook page.

YesVideo can digitize the following forms of vintage media:

· 8mm film

· 16mm film

· Super8 film

· VHS

· Beta (NTSC)

· VHS-C

· MiniDV

· Photo Prints

· Photo Negatives

· Photo Slides

One $300 gift certificate will cover about 15 videotapes . Once YesVideo receives the footage, the company will transfer it to DVD and store the video in YesVideo’s free, unlimited cloud storage system. Since YesVideo uploads customers’ videos into personal, password-protected accounts, military personnel serving all over the world will be able to view their favorite home movies in time for Valentine’s Day. Links to the videos can be sent via email or shared on Facebook.

“We are incredily grateful to our military for their service to our country, and we want to say thank you to them by delivering special memories to them,” says Michael Chang, CEO of YesVideo. “We recognize that they are not home with their families to celebrate the holidays, and we want to give them the next-best thing – videos of their loved ones.”

The short entry form is located on YesVideo’s Facebook page. The contest will close January 10 at 12:00 midnight PST, and winners will be notified within one week. All media materials must be received at YesVideo by January31 in order to be processed and returned by February 14. Final deadline for winners to submit their videos is January 31, 2013.

To enter the contest, please visit http://www.facebook.com/yesvideo/app_201730886505500

About YesVideo

YesVideo is the global leader in video transferring and sharing. The company’s patented technology allows them to efficiently transfer personal videos at scale. Customers may then view, edit and share their videos in the cloud. YesVideo has unlocked billions of classic family video moments and life events for seven million customers already.

Consumers may drop off their personal film (8mm, 16mm, VHS, Beta, etc), prints, slides and photo albums at one of YesVideo’s 34,000 retail locations, or online at YesVideo.com. All material received by YesVideo go through either the East Coast production facility, located in Norcross, GA or the West Coast production facility, located in Santa Clara, CA.

Thankful for Our Heroes

Nov. 21 Featured, Sponsored no comments

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, for what blessings will you be giving gratitude?

I am thankful for my family, my home, my health, and the good food I will enjoy. And I am grateful for the freedoms and safety I enjoy, due in no small part to our veterans.

I want to thank my husband, his grandfather (may he rest in peace), and my own grandfather (who turned 96 this week) for their service to this country.

Many of us spend some time this season helping those who are less fortunate. Please do not forget the soldiers who spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, in a war zone giving service to our country. Too many of them have been poorly rewarded for their duty.

Our family spends Thanksgiving morning helping an organization prepare meals for people who are homeless or under-housed. Unfortunately, some of these people are veterans. According to Rosanne Haggerty, President of Community Solutions, “Right now, on any given night, roughly 68,000 veterans are homeless in the United States. Within that number, a group of at least 14,000 have been homeless for a year or more and suffer from at least one chronic — and costly to treat — health condition. These long-term, chronically homeless veterans typically don’t make it off the streets without specific, targeted help. Communities must commit to identifying them by name and making them a priority, along with veterans who have life-threatening health conditions, for housing assistance and access to an organized support system.”

Please, enjoy your blessings on Thanksgiving, then thank a veteran, and make a commitment to helping these men and women who gave so much to us.

I am partnering with Brawny® to spread the word about how you can help these Wounded Warriors. Brawny has made a donation of $500,000 to Wounded Warrior Project® to benefit Wounded Warriors and their families. You can join 516,648 people, and counting, who are grateful for our veterans and share your thanks for our nation’s heroes on the Brawny® Towels Facebook page.

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Brawny® Towels. All opinions are my own.

Homeschooling in the Military

Nov. 14 Featured, Military Life, Resources no comments

Homeschooling is quickly becoming a viable alternative for many military families. Additionally, homeschooling is becoming more ‘mainstream’ in the civilian world, adding to its viability as an option for military families. Military families move an average of once every 2 to 3 years, often in the middle of a school year, and that instability is what compels many military families to opt for schooling their children at home.

Take a walk down the aisles at either your local library or your local bookstore and the section on education and homeschooling can be a bit overwhelming. So where do you begin? Here are some suggestions and resources to help get you started.

First, you need to consider why it is your family is choosing to homeschool. When we made our decision to start homeschooling, the first thing I did (because I am a big list maker/writer-downer/journaler) is to write out not only my reasons WHY we were choosing to homeschool as well as a few goals. Our list of goals is actually quite fluid, changing not only from year to year, but also subject to subject and even unit to unit. You’ll find that your goals will actually help you choose what path to take with regard to curricula.

In addition to your reasons and goals for homeschooling, you need to look into your state and local homeschooling requirements. Some states regulate homeschooling more stringently than others. The Homeschooling Legal Defense Association (www.hslda.org) is a wonderful resource for this information. You do not need to become a member of HSLDA – though I would recommend it – in order to access this information on their website. You can also look up your state’s department of education and search for homeschooling laws and policies. Following the state’s guidelines for homeschooling is very important and should be one of your first steps.

Now it’s time to look at curriculum. Once I had a good idea of our goals, I sat down and really thought about the ways in which my children learn best. I have one child that absolutely loves to read and often times needs to be reminded to pull her nose out of whatever book it is that she is buried in to join the rest of the world. Because of that, I knew that whatever curricula we chose should rely heavily on literature and give her ample opportunities to read as part of her learning. My other child is much more of a kinesthetic learner, preferring to “do it” as opposed to simply reading about it. Therefore the curricula we chose for him needed to have plenty of hands-on learning.

From there, I started researching curriculum. I researched not only by reading books about curricula but also by talking to other homeschooling parents and asking them what worked for them and why it worked. This part of the process can be incredibly overwhelming as there are literally hundreds of choices for each subject. Do not let yourself become overwhelmed! Remember this is a marathon, not a sprint race. Do your best to find what works for your child(ren) but also give yourself the leeway to change curriculum if need be. Case in point: we started off with what I thought would be a fantastic language curriculum only to get about halfway through the year and then realize that it was horribly dry and boring. So we switched! I purchased the curriculum used and was able to sell it for about what I paid for it so I really wasn’t out much money and we found something that worked much better for us.

Your local library should have books on homeschooling as do most mainstream bookstores; and there is always the internet. My top recommendations for resources are the following:

1. The Well-Trained Mind by Susan Wise Baue

2. 101 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum by Cathy Duffy

3. The Read-Aloud Handbook: Sixth Edition by Jim Trelease

There are hundreds and hundreds of methods and curriculum options out there. Some people prefer to go with an all-encompassing curriculum choice, such as Sonlight or Abeka. Some people prefer to piece things together, choosing different publishers for language, math, history, science, etc. And some people eschew the idea of structured school all together and, instead, opt for a more relaxed approach to education and learning via the ‘unschooling’ route. Every family is different. Every circumstance is different. The key is knowing both your children’s learning styles and what your goals are for them. Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!

 

Image Credit: Abandoned Art School 66 by xshamethestrongx, on Flickr

Election Day #TroopVote and Soldier Voting During Hurricane Sandy Relief Missions AAR

Nov. 07 Featured, Politics 2 comments

The untimely arrival of Hurricane Sandy in the Northeast United States managed to coincide with both high tide, the full moon, and the U.S. Presidential Election. As many people were without gas, polling places were without electricity, and lots of displaced people were either living in shelters or with friends and relatives who had heat and lights, the storm disrupted voting all over the Tri-State area.

Of particular concern to me was the idea that our soldiers who were called up for emergency duty would be disenfranchised by their service.

In the end, New Jersey and New York patched together last minute fixes that would allow determined displaced people to vote. New Jersey governor, Christie, announced that all displaced New Jersey residents could vote via e-mail and fax. New York first extended the absentee ballot application to November 2, late on November 1 and failed to publicize this information or notify the New York National Guard leadership until it was too late for this information to help anyone vote.

Early on November 5, the application was again extended to November 5 but applicants had to go to their county board of elections in person–something impossible for people without gas and soldiers who cannot leave their duty station, which may be far from their home county.

Finally, late on November 5, New York governor, Cuomo, announced all New Yorkers could vote in state-wide and national elections at any polling place with a signed affidavit.

On my husband’s installation, he and other officers gave up sleep to work this issue after their duty shifts were over.

In my opinion, this was all too little, too late. Many people were still disenfranchised by the lack of timely and clear action by the states affected.

When it became clear the storm was going to hit, a clear plan should have been in place for allowing all citizens to vote. Along with information handed out during relief efforts, there should have been printed forms with the state board of elections contact information and how to vote. There is probably also an argument in here for a move to electronic voting so that all district ballots are available at any polling place but that is outside of the scope of this post.

What I do want to discuss is preparedness for future elections.

  • Register as a Military Voter: If you are a member of the National Guard, please, RIGHT NOW, before you forget, contact your state board of elections and see your options for registering as a military voter or permanent/perpetual absentee ballot voter. This should pre-register you to receive your absentee ballot just in case you are ever called up for duty during an election.
  • Deadline Extensions:All states should immediately extend registration and postmark deadlines to the maximum possible during a state of emergency, especially for military called up for emergency duty. Please write to your governor and state legislators to request that they propose this legislation, immediately.
  • Better Coordination with Military Leadership: This does not require legislative action–just better communication. Our state governments need to make sure the National Guard leadership is aware of all new information as soon as it becomes available.
  • Explore Alternatives to Traditional Polling Places: The governors of the affected states were clearly caught off guard by the timing of the storm. No one should be able to use that excuse in the future. All states should have emergency plans for displaced people to vote in ALL elections, including local ones.
  • Improved National Guard Communication with Soldiers: As soon as soldiers are called up, they should be presented with a packet detailing their options for casting their votes, all deadlines, and directions for how to use military facilities to meet the requirements. These men and women barely had time to secure their homes and make sure their own families were safe before heading out to help others. There should be no hurdles to them casting their votes.

You might think this a small matter when people lost their lives, their homes, and their livelihoods but isn’t this something for which so many have marched and fought and died? One of the missions of the soldiers has been to monitor generators and safety at polling places.  Should they guard others so civilians may vote while they themselves cannot? Relief efforts must absolutely continue but they do not have to and should not result in disenfranchising our soldiers.

(Photo: Pennsylvania National Guard photo by Staff Sgt. Ted Nichols/Released)

Help Wounded Warrior Project

Nov. 06 Charities, Deployment, Featured, Resources, Sponsored, Support no comments

Living life to the fullest–despite traumatic brain injuries or loss of limb–that’s what Wounded Warrior Project is about. As of last fall, the Department of Defense reported 1,288 Operation Enduring Freedom/Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation New Dawn servicemembers with major traumatic amputations. Harder to diagnose but perhaps more prevalent is Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Also of great concern is the “invisible” injury of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Our wounded warriors return home and find it difficult to walk, to climb the stairs to their bedrooms, to hug their children. Those with less visible injuries may also suffer from crippling headaches, erratic behavior, depression, and lack of focus. These heroes may have difficulty returning to a normal home and work life.

That’s where Wounded Warrior Project steps in:

Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) takes a holistic approach when serving warriors and their families to nurture the mind and body, and encourage economic empowerment and engagement. Through a high-touch and interactive approach, WWP hopes to foster the most successful, well-adjusted generation of wounded service members in our nation’s history.

Read more about how Wounded Warrior Project succeeds in its mission.

I am partnering with Brawny® to spread the word about how you can help these Wounded Warriors. Brawny is making a direct donation of $250,000 to Wounded Warrior Project® to benefit Wounded Warriors and their families. From May 1 through December 31, 2012, the maker of Brawny® paper towels will also donate $1 up to an additional $250,000 for every individual who joins us and shares their thanks for our nation’s heroes on the Brawny® Towels Facebook page (www.facebook.com/brawnytowels).

Help Brawny® reach their goal of $500,000 for Wounded Warrior Project by Veterans Day — they are just 2,874 likes away!

Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Brawny® Towels. All opinions are my own.

Soldiers Disenfranchised by their Service?

Nov. 03 Featured, Politics 6 comments

Update 11/5: New York allows absentee ballets to be sent TODAY ONLY. http://www.elections.ny.gov/CountyBoards.html 

All absentee ballot applications must be made in person at your county board of elections by Monday, November 5th.

The State Board of Elections has approved an extension of the deadline for absentee ballots to be received and counted from 7 days after Election Day to 13 days after Election Day. Ballots must still be postmarked no later than Monday, November 5th, however they now have until November 19th to arrive at the local Board of Elections.

Get word to your soldiers in the area! Let them know! The access to news and information is limited so share the updated word via Twitter and Facebook to help get the message out there. 

Update 11/4: The focus is on NY now…Let Gov Cuomo know our the votes of soldiers called up for Sandy should count–like in Alabama and NJ. Please everyone, fill out this contact form and call on Monday morning–thank you! On Twitter, let @NYGovCuomo  know you want troops’ votes to count! Contact: http://ow.ly/1N8zEn or 518-474-8390 #TroopVote #SOT

11/3 11:25 PM: According to a 10:19 PM tweet from NJ Governor Christie, residents will be able to vote via fax or e-mail:

Governor Christie Governor ChristieVerified ‏@GovChristie

E-mail and fax voting will be available to New Jerseyans displaced by Hurricane #Sandy. For more information call 1-877-NJVOTER.

Please help so our NY servicemembers and soldiers in other affected states can vote, too!

UPDATE 11/3 8pm: Please use #troopvote and #SOT to spread the word on Twitter. You can also tweet @NYGovCuomo @GovChristie to let them know that you want our soldiers’ votes to be counted! I plan to call the governor’s office on Monday morning and hope you will, as well. Thank you Angela and Adrianna for helping to get the word out!

Most soldiers know they can vote using an absentee ballot. However, many of our National Guard and Reserve soldiers did not expect to be called up due to Hurricane Sandy.  Alabama has extended the application for an absentee ballot application to November 5 for military servicemembers deployed in response to Hurricane Sandy.

New York also extended the deadline but only to November 2 on November 1 and did not publicize this information. I haven’t found any information for New Jersey. For soldiers like my husband who were called up on November 2, or for those who have been fighting the flood waters and keeping peace in the shelters since October 29, this is not enough to prevent them from effectively being disenfranchised by their service.

There has been a lot of discussion about using National Guard and Reserve troops to ensure that civilians can vote. Isn’t it the least we can do to make sure these men and women, who sacrifice their safety and comfort for our own, are able to exercise their basic right to vote?

Please write your state board of elections and your governor and ask that they follow Alabama’s example and make sure that all soldiers have an opportunity to vote.

Photo credit.

Major Hunk

Oct. 26 Featured no comments

Captain Dad is now Major Dad so we bought the boys these cute shirts from Carter’s and gave them a promotion, too. I just wish they had gotten the rank right–Major or Sergeant Major would have worked.

Okay, so that was a thinly-veiled excuse to post a picture of the baby. Enjoy.

Purple Hearts Touched Mine

Oct. 10 Charities, Deployment, Featured, Sponsored 1 comment

At Fort Hood, I had the privilege of watching several soldiers receive their purple heart awards. I was there to receive an award for my service to the Family Readiness Group and did not even realize that I would also be witnessing such a testament to bravery and sacrifice.

I watched as each wounded warrior stepped forward with such dignity and as much military bearing as they could muster with their injuries. Several of the less catastrophically injured were heading back to Iraq, despite having the option to remain home for the rest of the deployment. They just could not rest easy until all of their comrades were home, safe.

I thought of my husband and the husbands of my friends, going out on daily missions, escorting convoys throughout the Baghdad area. I put myself in the boots of these soldiers and the shoes of their families–grateful that their lives were spared but also overwhelmed by all the details required for adapting to life with a severe injury. I was so incredibly grateful for their sacrifice and in awe of their strength.

The soldiers I know often say that aiming to be a hero gets people killed. These purple heart recipients were not trying to be heroes. They were doing their duty. Their duty, however, was 1000% beyond what most ordinary people are called upon to do. When it counted, these soldiers kept their calm, made good decisions, and even saved the lives of their fellow soldiers. No, these soldiers were not trying to be heroes. They just simply were heroes.

After watching them, I felt embarrassed getting up to receive my award. How could my work be mentioned in the same ceremony as their sacrifice? The applause from the heroes was so touching. When the soldiers came over at the end to thank us–these heroes were actually expressing gratitude for our small contributions!–I nearly lost it. The only way I kept the tears from spilling as I told them how grateful and proud of them we all were was to remember that these soldiers wanted to see a strong home front united behind them.

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I am partnering with Brawny® to spread the word about how you can help these Wounded Warriors. Brawny is making a direct donation of $250,000 to Wounded Warrior Project® to benefit Wounded Warriors and their families. From May 1 through December 31, 2012, the maker of Brawny® paper towels will also donate $1 up to an additional $250,000 for every individual who joins us and shares their thanks for our nation’s heroes on the Brawny® Towels Facebook page (www.facebook.com/brawnytowels). They are almost at their goal of $500,000. Will you help them reach it?

—

This post was sponsored by Brawny® Towels. All opinions are my own.


Image credit: Defense Dept. photo by U.S. Navy 1st Class Petty Officer Mollly A. Burgess