its a hard situation me myself is facing the same problem in away i want to move with him , but could i move somewhere iv never been knowing no one??

do what is best for you & kids ( if any ).
remember its you that has to live that life x

iv decided to do it purely just to be as close to him as possible and so my daughter can see her daddy as much as she can .

i hope this has helped

good luck!!! x

BAH will be paid “in money” to you / your husband only while he’s in basic training and AIT, or if he deploys. While he lives on post (after his training is completed), you don’t see the money. If your husband chooses to live off post, he will get the BAH that is determined for that particular area. So let’s say the BAH is $800 / month, he may choose to rent something for $500 / month and that way you can pocket $300.

Our case: I live in a big expensive city (decided not to accompany him to where he got stationed), while my husband is stationed in a rural area deep south. He lives on post, as there are no rentals off post. We have to scramble to make our mortgage payment. But, while he was in basic and AIT, they paid us BAH based on where I live, as spouses are not allowed to accompany soldiers to the training, and then the BAH was more than what our mortgage payment is! It’s a bit silly, but it is what it is.

I hope this helps.

My husband enlisted 2 years ago. I stayed behind as I have a great job and we needed the money. He did basic, then AIT and then deployed. We are still living apart, and he is about to deploy again. Once he completes his 2nd deployment his contract is up and he will not re-opt. This IS doable, but you need to have a relationship that is so strong, trusting, honest and on top of that you both need to have superb communication skills. It is very different to have the hubby live on a post away from you that have him deployed to theatre. Both present their own challenges. We happen to be doing great, although we miss each other like crazy.
Good luck to you!

My husband is going to be enlisting very soon and we have both agreed that it is best if I stay here at home. We bought a house back in September that we don’t want to leave behind and my career has just taken off in our hometown. My biggest concern is BAH. If I am willingly choosing to stay with our home, will we still get a housing allowance? He pays for the mortgage and I pay the bills. Also, I am a hairstylist working for myself and the slow weeks occasionally pop up. I will need the added cushion to his income in order to keep up with the mortgage payments. How does this work? Any advice is welcome…and all advice I’ve read so far has been pretty helpful. Thank you!!

You have to think of every situation. For instance, my husband said that he was going to be a “lifer”. We got to our first base and he does not like it here which has changed his mind about being a lifer and he has set different goals for us. Since he doesn’t like it (it’s a very important base and so everyone is very strict) he comes home in a bad mood. He is a whole new person than he was before he joined the military. I wouldn’t be able to handle this change if I was far away and not experiencing it with him.
Maybe he should just join the reserves or guard?! That way he is still serving his country and he can still be with his family.
I pray whatever you decide works great!
Stephanie

Thank you for asking this question because I have been trying to figure out the same thing. My husband just left for basic training and I recently got accepted into graduate school. My school is NYC and we have no idea where he is going to be stationed. He is not sure if he wants to make the military a career but I know that I want to go to graduate school for the next two years, but I have a difficult time being apart from him. Molly your reply and these comments have truly aided me in my decision making.

My husband is planning on making the Army a career and I will hopefully be joining him after I graduate. I have found this site is very informative and a source of strength when I am down.

I pray for the best for you and your husband, God Bless.

- Amanda
Future Army Wife

However, it is still in practice through this year (2010) and I will believe the phase-out when I see it. Regardless of whether the practice is phased-out or not, military members still contractually agree to involuntary extension of service…which means the practice can be resumed whenever the military deems it necessary.