Comments on: Military Divorce (Ask Molly)

By: Elijah Lewis

Elijah Lewis — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 04:31:53 +0000

Divorce will always lead to depression and anger towards the other party. As much as possible avoid divorce~:,

By: Amanda

Amanda — Sat, 01 May 2010 07:04:47 +0000

Hello,
My husband and I are divorcing and he has agreed to the divorce and everything. What I am wondering is, will the Army let me stay in post housing for 6 months to get on my feet? I have heard that but I’m not so sure it’s true.

By: Linda

Linda — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 15:41:49 +0000

My husband move to a different county while I was deployed overseas, he claimed I abandoned my child and filed for divorce. He state that he did not know my whereabouts. For months when I would call he would say everything was fine but then at some point he changed his phone number.

Soon after I was notified that I was divorce and that he had sole custody of my child. For months I tried to find him but it was useless.

I am out of the military and want my child back. What can I do? How can I prove that he knew where as was all along and that I did not abandon him nor my child.

By: kevin

kevin — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 08:49:00 +0000

There are regulations that govern such actions. I know while being stationed OCONUS there is a system in place to move spouse’s back home. Id imagine there would be the same for CONUS station. As far the BAH and Family Sep… you are not entitled to it all. Read the regulations, you entitled a specific dollar amount based solely upon his rank. The table is called the Non Locality Rate (BAH type II). Google AR 608-99, page 7.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 07:40:35 +0000

Hi.

This is a long story. I’ll try to make it brief as possible.

“John” and I have been married for 3 years. We’ve been together for nearly 10. He enlisted in the ARMY in 2007. We moved to NY later that year and it was agreed that I would stay home and raise the kids. All of the bills went into my name. I had perfect credit at this time. Then he spent us into a large hole. The bills didn’t get paid and my credit was ruined. I have about $3600 in household debt accrued on my credit report, just from NY. He got a loan to cover the deficit in the account, but it was too late and we were behind and kept getting more behind. My Mastercard got maxed out, just so we could eat. On top of this I had been begging him to bring his coworkers home, to tell me when they’d invited us over. He didn’t. Told his coworkers and their wives I wasn’t interested. Even went as far as to tell the FRG I wasn’t interested in their meetings. My son never adjusted to the move and developed mental problems. It was then, with the help of my mother, that the kids and I moved back home. Two months after that we decided to get divorced. He started sleeping with his SGT. We had agreed it would be ok to see other people. I had somebody too. After about a month she ended it, and that’s when he started harassing me. Mind you he was deployed during all of this. Using his paycheck and the kids welfare to control who I saw or talked to. Would change the the allotment I got if I didn’t answer the phone late at night. Demanding to know why I had been at such and such place at two in the afternoon using the online banking to prove when I had been out. When he came home on leave, he (against my better judgement) stayed here because he was paying for the house. He drank every night. Would get in my face with his face, though he never hit me. Interrogated our five year old son about who I saw and what I did to the point that he was in tears. Nevermind all the tears I’ve shed over his constant threats about taking my babies away. And nevermind that he got a girl pregnant while he was on leave. Now he back in the states, living with the Sgt that he had been sleeping with. I’ve been cut down to $1500/mo which will pay the bills…just barely. I can’t find work. I can’t find any assistance to help get rid of the debt or help with current bills. We’re drowning here. I need to get on my feet, need a divorce, need to be rid of the pressure of this man and I can find no help.

Can he hide behind his SSRA forever? Am I going to be able to divorce him? Are there any military divorce specialists that don’t charge $300/hr? Are there any benefits that the military offers to help me find a job that will actually pay the bills? because the state provided job assistance/placement is a joke. Are there any organizations that will help with the bills in the meantime? Is there anything that can be done? This has been going for almost a year, my stress is high to the point that I have trouble eating and holding down what I do eat. My kids have started to notice. I’ve run out of moves. Sorry for the length in this. A lot to say.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:25:30 +0000

Dear Molly, This is a doosie…..my neighbour’s son returned ‘home’ (her house)from serving in Afghanistan about 6 months ago…along with his wife, whom he married while stationed in Italy (it is my understanding they were together for almost 2 1/2 years while there and were married his last January in her native Romania). To make a long story short, apparantly he now wants a divorce and is refusing to start her immigration process. Besides the immigration issue, does she have any rights/options through the military as they were married while he was active duty? I don’t want to become too involved with their problems, but I do feel for her, being alone in a foreign country and now being told that he wants a divorce, she just doesn’t know what to do, and is scared that he is going to throw her out of the house. Any advice we be most welcome.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 05:41:25 +0000

well i have been married for a year and i have done everything my husband has asked me to do but for some reason thats not enough. i have no job and i have a 3 year old son who is not my husbands. well his been acting so different with me tell me that he doesnt love me and never has that only reason he married me was because he would get paid more and he had things he needed to pay. he told me that i better not ask him for nothing because he not going to help me with anything. His been trying to kick me out of our house. so what i need help well advice about is what do i need to do to get a divorce and still get money from my husband until i find a job and when me and my son are ok?

By: Angie

Angie — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:31:47 +0000

HEY LADIES OUT THERE!! I hear you ! so deep in my heart it hurts to know all this sadness in the world of stupidity
and abscense of self-respect and the knowing of God’s love for us we need to realize we here to serve his purpose to inspired each other to love everything and everybody
But nooo ! we woman are caught up in total emotionally disconection with ourselves and our true beauty and value as a human beings

I want you to know and be reminded of our position here on earth WE ARE PRINCESSES daughter os the most high
why not to be,walk,talk and behave like the ladies princesses we are?

LOve yourself continue loving your kids live love life be descent work on loving yourself so much that you will attract love all kinds of love
you will see how people will want to be around your beautiful soul

Stop complaining!! start LIVING ! LIVE LAUGH LOVE!!! STAY IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER BEAUTY AND YOUR FATHER THAT LOVES US DEARLY!! HOPE GOD GUIDE YOIU TO EMBRACE YOUR UNIQUENESS AND HELP TO SPREAD THE LOVE EVEN IN THOUGH TIMES WE PRINCESSES CAN DO THAT AND MORE LOVE YOU ALL TAKE CARE
BLESSINGS!!

By: Candace

Candace — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 09:19:52 +0000

soon2bbxarmywife–Sorry you had a bad experience. I never felt like I was treated as an object because of my gender. I was treated as a valuable part of a team. It was not perfect, few things are. Good luck in civilian life…

By: soon2bxarmywife

soon2bxarmywife — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 03:09:44 +0000

I’m so glad it’s almost over!!! I want my life back! I am a Priority! I deserve better than what the Military Life Style can give! & why the heck can we get free boob jobs but the dental only covers 50% of a crown? Oh..yeah…once again….women are objects…nothing more. That good old boy attitude still sucks!