The Homefront Club Military Wife Advice Book (Review and Contest)

Posted by Candace on Jan 28, 2008 | 72 Comments

The homefront club=The Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman’s Guide to Raising a Military Family is essentially a much needed pep talk for Military Wives.

Author Jacey Eckhardt provides a way of looking at the life, not as a burden, not as a paradise, but simply as it is. Military Life, just like any other, has its ups and downs and its pros and cons, although the service does seem to heighten the highs and the lows.

The key to a happy life, military or otherwise, is how you view it. There are plenty of guides out there that will tell you what to do as a military spouse, but The Homefront Club shares some ideas about why.

Another guide book may tell you all about TRICARE and teas and coffees, which is useful information, but quirky variations between branches and posts and sudden changes of policy can quickly render any authoritative statement obsolete. So, instead of trying to take the place of a good Family Readiness Group, Eckhardt helps the reader put herself in the right frame of mind to make the most of her husband’s military career.

Don’t worry, though, this isn’t a rah, rah, Stepford Wife, rose-colored glasses kind of book. The book acknowledges all of the sacrifices inherent in military life. Assuming your husband is worth those sacrifices (and Eckhardt says he absolutely has to be for things to work), how can you accept and even embrace these challenges?

You don’t have to fall in love with the military, but if you are in love with your husband, isn’t it better to celebrate your life, rather than to wallow in misery?

After providing this food for thought, Eckhardt gets down to advice for military wives about finding a job, moving, and raising a family. She provides some excellent resources and ideas. The strength of the book lies in helping the reader be open to these suggestions.

We’ve all met the person who just wants to complain. You try to offer some help, but for every idea, she has a reason why it just won’t work. Eckhardt first tries to adjust that perception, then provides the strategies.

In addition to a philosophy of Military living and lots of tips, the book also has plenty of laugh out loud anecdotes about our warriors, our children, and ourselves.

Like many first editions, the book could use a little more editing–there are some minor errors and sometimes the train of thought gets a bit muddled.

Overall, though, The Homefront Club is an excellent read for a military wife at any stage of her “career.” Newcomers will get a helpful introduction that could save them years of bitterness. Wives a few years in will find a friendly voice to guide them in redirecting their thoughts towards happiness. And old timers will get a friendly reminder about why they continue to choose this life.


WANT IT: BUY The Homefront Club ($13.57)

WIN IT: I have a gently used copy (I read it once for the purposes of the review and the back cover has a crease from our latest move) up for grabs for anyone who would like this book for themselves or someone they know. Just leave a comment here with a helpful tip or a few words of encouragement for military spouses by February 1, 2008, 8PM EST. I’ll choose the winner at random and will ship to any US (including US Military addresses that count as US shipping) or Canadian address. This contest is part of the fabulous Bloggy Giveaways. Check out the other contests, but be sure to first leave your comment on this post if you want to be eligible to win this book. Good luck!

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  • Jessica said:

    I’m an Army wife and an Army vet. LOL My husband just went to Korea for a year tour on the 9th of January. One comment for military wives would be to get involved!! You never know, your best friend might be just around the corner.

  • Laura @ Laura Williams' Musing said:

    Count me in please, I’d love to give this to a friend of mine whose husband is in Iraq.

    I blogged ya:

    http://laurawilliamsmusings.blogspot.com/2008/01/monday-edition-of-contests-galore_28.html

  • Lesha said:

    Thanks for the giveaway :)

  • Terina said:

    i could really use this book. need all the help i can get being a military wife….

  • Shannon @ some fine taters said:

    Count me in!

  • Christina said:

    I don’t have any words of advice, but members of the military and their families are in my prayers.

  • Megan K said:

    I’d love to get this for my cousins new wife. He is being deployed in June…thanks

  • Laura said:

    My husband is in the Air Force, I’d love to read this book!!

    laura_licious101(at)hotmail(dot)com

  • Marcia said:

    One of my best friends is in Iraq right now. My tip would be DO NOT WATCH THE NEWS REPORTS! It just causes unnecessary stress. Just look forward to emails and phone calls.

  • Monique Patry said:

    Oh I’d love one of these books! I’m a military wife myself and I think our base’s library would really benefit from this book. If I win I’ll definitly donate it to them (after reading it myself… lol).

  • Susan said:

    This looks like a great read. DH is in the Marines, and I know a few new wives that would enjoy this!

  • Frances said:

    I would love to win this to give to my sister, a Navy wife. As a brat, I have to say that the “Home is where the Air Force sends you” magnet we had on our fridge actually comforted me!

  • Christina W. said:

    As a milspouse – I can certainly agree that despite the ups & downs of being a military family, my husband has always been worth it!

  • Eden said:

    **Don’t be afraid to move. Change is good and it breaks up the mundane in life. Also, everytime you move, jump into activities right away. Don’t be shy. Make friends. Stay in touch with the new friends once you move.

    Oh, I’d love to win! Please count me in! Thank you!

    I’m doing a giveaway on both of my blogs:

    http://airforcefamily2007.blogspot.com

    http://goddessofthehome.blogspot.com

    I’ll be doing a new giveaway everyday until Friday. Thought you might want to know.

    Eden

  • Rebecca said:

    This sounds like a great book, esp for new to the military wives like myself. I’m four months into my first deployment and my husband has been in the military about 15 months so by the time he gets back we’ll have spent more time apart vs together since he joined. Thanks!

    My bit of advice/encouragement for wives is to be flexible, it’s easier to bend and sway going with the flow than getting upset every time things change – and they change A LOT.

  • Reeva said:

    great contest – count me in to win! :)

  • Christine said:

    I would love to win this for my BFF. She is also an army wife and an inspiration to me every day, as are all of you! I value so much what your Army guys do for our country and our freedom, due in NO SMALL part to the support of their loving wives! YAY ARMY WIVES! Thanks for participating!

  • Devildogwife said:

    I’m a Marine wife currently keeping the homefires burning while waiting the return of my beloved. I always enjoy reading new military related books. Please sign me up.

  • Stephen Saunders said:

    would make a great gift, please enter me.

  • Christy said:

    As a mental health provider for Tricare and play therapist for kids of our troops-I recommend the book “My daddy is a soldier”

  • Awesome Mom said:

    I could use this book. I am facing my first PCS with kids and am starting to stress especially since we STILL do not have orders.

  • Melonie (Momma & More) said:

    Please enter me!

    Having been an Army brat and now a homeschooling Army wife, I think my biggest tip for those with children is to pack the same beloved items each time you PCS – and make sure they are unpacked as soon as you have a home again. My mother did this every time we moved, and to this day I crack up my husband because I will unpack if we’re in a hotel for more than one night. It provided me with a sense of consistency and comfort to have certain items around me, no matter where we were (including lodging, relatives’ homes, and German hotels) – and it does the same for me and the kids now.

    I’ll have to blog this after lunch – what a fun giveaway!

    Thanks for all you do!
    ~Melonie

  • Shannon said:

    Sounds great! Count me in!

  • Rhen (yestheyareallmine) said:

    Enter me in, please!

  • Patty said:

    Count me in! Army, Air Force, in DH’s new career field it sounds like there is not much of a difference. ;)

  • Camille said:

    i’d love this for my secret sister – her husband is active duty and she runs a heros at home ministry at a local church. thanks for a great giveaway.

    Camille
    http://www.snaphappymama.com
    wiredwilsons [at] gmail [dot] com

  • Amberly said:

    I would love to win this. As an army wife I think this book is a great idea. Count me in!

  • heather h said:

    I have a friend that is a newly pregnant Military wife. I don’t know any tips, but she is involved and I think that does help. She really got out there and met lots of the wives. I’d like to win this book fo rher.

  • Liz said:

    One of my best friend’s is a military wife! Hearing her stories makes me really appreciate all that those in the military do! Both the enlisted and their families! What a great and amazing sacrifice! I would love to win this book for her!

  • Liz said:

    Sorry, the above comment is mine, I accidently entered it before I put in all of my contact info!

  • Meg said:

    I am an “army brat….” I saw what my mom had to do while my dad was stationed in Panama away from us for 18 months. It’s not easy for the wives OR the children! There are so many good memories I have, too…you can’t make friends in the civilian world like you can in the military! They’re like kin! ( meg.wilson@gmail.com )

  • Dawn Hudson said:

    Being a military wife myself i would love to read this book.

    thanks

  • Judi said:

    I would love this book to read and pass along! Sign me up!
    Tips for military spouses:
    1.)Find the Chapel on post and get plugged in.
    2.)Don’t hide in the house! Get OUT. Volunteer, make friends, walk the dog – whatever.
    3.)Don’t pin your hopes on ‘the day’ your spouse is supposed to return, just ask God for grace enough to make it through THIS day.

  • Jenny said:

    I would love to read this book! We are going through our 1st deployment and I need all the help I can get!!!

  • Angela said:

    My good friend’s wife is a new military wife and Im sure she could really use this.. :)

  • Karen (Mommy of Three) said:

    I would love to have this, thank you so much!

    My advice is to make the most of the time you have together, and try to “spoil” your spouse while they are at home, because they do not get many perks while on deployment. Make their favorite meals, etc. and understand that sometimes they need time alone. When they are on a ship, plane, or in the desert, they do not have the luxury of a movie alone or just solitude. It is often hard for the spouse at home to understand that because they have had months of solitude.

    kpuleski at gmail dot com

  • Shay said:

    I have a friend that would love this thanks.

  • Laura said:

    Oh, haven’t heard of that one yet…helpful tip…hmmm…Be flexible. Be friendly. Be your husband’s cheerleader.

  • Melanie said:

    I would love to give this to a friend whose husband just joined the military as a chaplain.

  • KirstyB said:

    What a great giveaway!! I am an Air Force wife (and an army brat). My advice would have to be….be prepared to be flexible. The military sometimes throws you for a curve with the things you least expect. Be ready to be open to change. I think as long as you try to carry a positive attitude with you wherever you go in your military life, you will enjoy it.

    bensonfamily at gmail dot com

  • Lorraine said:

    I’m a navy wife, and I’d love the chance to read this book.

    My tip, learn to handle the finances. Learn to plan in advance. The best move we made was to buy & pay off both vehicles while we were guaranteed a roof over our heads by the military. Use military housing while you pay off debts, and save up! then when it’s time to settle down, and buy your own home, it’s easier on your bank account. Question everything – what’s more important? a new pair of shoes? or a house sometime in the future. It works.

  • Cathy said:

    My tip is to not carry a chip on your shoulder toward your dh about his military job…I’ve seen wives who do that and make their husbands (and themselves) miserable.

    As a military wife facing another 15-month deployment in a few weeks, I’d really love to win this book! Thanks for entering me.

  • Jacqueline said:

    I’m a relatively new military wife expecting our first child … I’d love this book!

  • Jacqueline said:

    I went back and read the instructions … you can delete my first comment. :)
    My advice is to embrace the opportunity to befriend people you might not have normally been attracted to in other circumstances. Some of my best friends at our current post are people I was initially wary of getting to know. You could really miss out if you don’t give people a chance!

  • Piseco said:

    I don’t have any helpful advice, only quiet encouragement – every marriage has its own trials, and every couple gets through them in their own way. Thanks for the contest.

  • Linda said:

    Military families are my heroes. They go through what they do-for me! Thank you so much!

    I would give this book to my friend since 8th grade. She got married last year and then her marine got called back into service. They had to postpone their honeymoon for a year. Now he is training to go to Iraq.

  • Dawn said:

    I don’t have a hint, but I have a friend who’s husband will deploy again in March and this is for her – I’d love a chance to win! Thanks! Dawn :)

    (contact info – dawn at kaiseralex.com)

  • Trish/MamaBugs said:

    I’d like to comment but ask that I not be entered in the contest please. After 24 years of Air Force life there are many others that need this book far more than I do! *S* You are sweet to be passing it on to someone else.
    My advice is remember that the Lord is with you (both) always. If He brings you to it, He will get you through it.

    Check out both my blogs:
    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MamaBugs (personal blog)
    http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/military (for military homeschoolers)

  • Gloria said:

    This sounds like a great book, the advise I have for military wives is don’t believe everything you hear. If you hear rumors of deployments, or of anything really, ask your husband about them before you start getting worried.

  • Anastasia said:

    What a great contest :D

    To military wives and families I would say, thank you! You’re families are doing everyone a service and you should be proud :)

    Thanks for the giveaway :)

  • Katherine Frazier said:

    Be prepared for anything.

  • Rachel said:

    I’m an Army wife and we’re (thankfully) together right now. This would be a great book for either myself or any one of my many friends with husbands gone for 15 months.

    Thanks for the giveaway and may God bless your family!!!

  • Melissa Allison said:

    Please enter me! Keep your chin up! :) Thanks so much!
    Melissa
    MamasBabiesx4@gmail.com

  • Smellyann said:

    Navy wife here, and Jacey Eckhart writes for our local paper – thanks!

  • Mandy said:

    My brother-in-law was just deployed again. They have a brand-new (10 days old) baby and a 18 month baby. I would love to send this to them.

  • Marie said:

    Count me in. I would love to have this book.I have to say that the best advice that I have ever been given ( and still continue to get LOL!) are from wives who have “been there done that”.

  • natasha p said:

    Army wife here too :) Been through 4 deployments and Gosh knows how many schools where he’s been away a month or two at a time!

    Jadenrilei @ hotmail (.) Com

  • jen said:

    army wife with 2 little ones. my advice is never expect your spouse to come home from work and be excited when he does!

  • Sarah said:

    Would give this to my sis-in-law.
    Thanks to all you wives who allow your husbands to serve and protect our awesome country. We are proud of them (and you!)

  • shell said:

    Oh what a great gift & book for us military wives. Thanks

  • Mom to 2 Boys said:

    My husband is in the military also! Please enter me. Thanks!

  • Sharon said:

    This would make a great gift for my friend. Please enter me, Thanks.

  • Ashley said:

    I am a military wife also. Thanks for the give away. I would love to read this book!!

  • This Military Mama said:

    This book would be great for me. I’m a Navy wife, with a new daughter, recently moved, and in my first deployment.

    my tip…when you and your husband are getting all your paper work together before a deployment make sure your insurance papers and car registration get back into the car! You don’t want some one to hit your car [like a hit and run] right after your husband left and when the MP come to deal with it you don’t have to be frantically searching for it. Lots of drama! I know cause it recently happened to me!

  • Jennifer said:

    I’m an Air Force wife and really need this.

  • Kathie said:

    3 of my daughters are military wives.
    Count me in

  • Anonymous said:

    Wow this is realy great!! My husband is oversees right now – first separation since we were married three years ago.
    Count me in!!
    Check out my giveaway – Mary Kay Product!!

    http://www.thepangburns.blogspot.com

    Thank you!!

  • lydia said:

    Great!! My hubby is actually deployed right now. This would be really wonderful! Count me in!!
    Check out my giveaway – Mary Kay Product!!

    http://www.thepangburns.blogspot.com

    Thank you!!

  • Jenny said:

    I am currently an Army wife with a deployed husband. My advice is to start a journal. I started a journal for my husband when he left. In it I write what me and my son did, funny things taht happened, the weather, and how I am feeling that day. When I fill up a journal, I mail it to him. It is just a little way for him to feel connected to the homefront.

  • danandmarsh said:

    What a great book!! My dh is in the National Guard, has served in Iraq, Kosovo! This is awesom! My daughter and son-in-law are both deployed to different country’s right now!!

  • The Donkey said:

    What about a book for the poor husbands?

  • Mama Luxe said:

    The Donkey–Why doesn’t someone write one?

    Male spouses are rarer in the military than female spouses (smaller market) and they are often prior military themselves. Which is not to say they aren’t important, but publishers, like any other company, have to think about profits, too.

    Male spouses tend to look differently at their role as a military spouse, perhaps a lot more like civilians tend to view their spouses careers. Just like female spouses, they support their soldiers, but they do tend to get less involved with unit activities. And, of course, there is no chance they’ll find themselves 8 months’ pregnant with their spouse deploying to Iraq.

    So, some different issues.

    All spouses have a lot in common, and men who are curious about the military will find a lot of good information in these books.

    Ultimately though, maybe there should be a milspouse book for men–so who is the brave male milspouse who will write it?

    And, since I’m not a male milspouse, I don’t want to speak for them…

    Hey GUYS! If you’re out there in the ether reading…would YOU read a book for Male Milspouses???